50 Shades From a Man and a Dad

My wife has some very wise words about telling people — kids and girls in particular — against watching the recent blockbuster “Fifty Shades of Grey”: they probably will be more curious and will want to watch it even more! And, newsflash! they probably have done so already.

So, since you most likely have seen the movie, here are some of my few thoughts as a man and a dad:

– What if Christian Grey is Mang Pandoy, the tricycle driver? Not cool. Not very cool. Being rich and cute doesn’t make abusive sex (or BDSM) cool.

– And, if you think “rich” and “cute” is a good catch, think again. Money can be earned. Pogi-ness can be learned. Both qualities can only allow you a few months into a relationship before it wears off and become unnoticeable. But respect, godliness and truthfulness are for the long haul. I always tell this to the singles at our church: don’t settle for less. You are far more valuable as a child of God to settle for anything less than a godly, honorable man that you deserve.

– Christian Grey needs some serious counseling. And if you find him cool, you need some, too. Seriously. I’m saying that without any trace of sarcasm, rather with honest concern.

– Yes, signing a contract before having sex is cool. The one you sign in front of your relatives and friends. But I’m not just talking about a typical contract. I’m talking about a covenant. The one you agree to “bond” you together for better or for worse in front of God. You know where I’m going with this.

– Sex is fun. Sex should be fun. But, I’m saying this as a married man and a dad to girl that will soon be a lady in a few years and not as a youth leader or counselor: wag muna, wait until you’re married. The fear, guilt, shame and uncertainty is not worth it.

A few related, very useful links:

Here’s a message series we did at LifeChurch, a Christian Church in Makati CBD about love and sex – “Love Song“. Watch the videos. Your 30-minutes will be well worth it.

A Psychiatrist’s Letter to Young People About 50 Shades of Grey – I thought this one is a very informed advice from a professional.