You should read this. Barenaked is a blog by a gal from Pampanga. I like her — she’s very candid and honest in her takes on life. A little different genre and for some her language might be offending, but hey, she’s just being her self! That’s what blogging is all about in the first place.
In this particular post, she honestly poured out her disappointments. Her parents, her mom in particular, seems to be pushing her to take up Nursing while her interest is art (music in this post, but I saw her “sumo” sketch in another post. Obviously, this gal is a right brainer). Kind of like that “suportahan taka” PLDT commercial, eh. Only this time, she’s still waiting for her mom to say “suportan daka“.
While reading her entry today, I came to thinking, what is it really the role of parents as far as guiding their children’s career decisions is concerned?
Joy and I had some discussions like this in the past. I told her, I’d like Johann, my son, to go to University of the Philippines (UP) for college. I argued that UP seems to be the best and a classic in terms of college education. She would counter saying she don’t want Johann to be an activist. She said, if God would bless us further, she wants Johann to go to Ateneo.
Upon further contemplations, I realized that the reason why I want to see Johann go to UP is that it is my frustration back in my college years. I really wanted to study at UP but I missed the yearly UPCAT — nobody told me that I have to take those! :D If there’s any consolation, I graduated in AUP, Adventist University of the Philippines (not in anyway connected with UP). So that’s it, I’m trying to make Johann finish my unfinished business. It’s really about me. By the way, Johann will turn 2 years old this month.
That’s the issue for most parents. We want our kids to do the things we missed doing while we had a chance to do it. In effect we’re robbing our kids the real joy of pursuing what they want in life. For some, the issue is poverty. Parents want their kids to go abroad so they can support them. And nursing is the easiest route to the promise land, also known as United States of America. In my opinion, parents giving their children education so that they can pay their parents back is real bad motivation. Love given with strings attached isn’t love at all. Unfortunately, this is a common thinking among Filipinos.
Parents, remember that God gave us our children to love and to bless. If ever we’ll give them the best education, it is because it is our responsibility as parents not because we want something back. I’m no exception to this. It is a temptation to ‘show off’ when giving anything to our children. Sometimes, our children is becoming our trophy. In my opinion, it only gives more pressure to the kids — pressure to perform and not to be real to themselves. Our only role is to “train up a child in the way he should go” — that’s guidance, not governance.
Dr. Phil, signing out.